A lot of people my age see 2016 as a horrible year. As did I. Until I looked back and realized what this year was.People who are close to me know this wasn't the easiest year for me. I had to deal with poisonous relationships in my life, I had to grow in my faith and recognize where I needed growth, I had to deal with the busyness of life and having to learn to find time for love and friendships and mostly the Lord.
But through all of that I grew. I grew in amazing and unexpected ways. So, here are some things I learned in 2016 that made the year a blessing in disguise:
I learned.....
1. How to stand up for myself. For a long time I was so scared to defend myself, or speak up for myself. So, I let people walk all over me. To take advantage of me. And that led me to a pretty bad place lying in a hospital bed. So, I found the courage to speak, to stand. To not let people walk all over me, and the best part is I learned how to do it in love, thanks to the grace of God.
2. I learned how to work on a team. This was probably on of the hardest things I learned. This summer you all know I work at WinShape, and it is always chalked up to look glamorous, but really, it was a hard road. Everyone knows that I am not the easiest person to get along with, I have a strong personality and sometimes I can have a bad attitude. But this summer I learned to put myself behind me for the goodness of the team. I had a director who I loved and hated. Loved because he pushed me and hated because, you guessed it, he pushed me. Pushed me to grow in the Lords name, and I did. People may not see that, but I did. (If I worked with you this summer and you're reading this, I love you more than you know, and you helped me more than you know)
Okay enough sappiness, moving on.
3, I learned how to let people go. After camp, there is a lot of people you love, that you never see or talk to again. I had to learn to let go. That same director that I loved like a brother? I had to learn to let him go. He was someone the Lord put in my life to guide me for that time, and then after that it was time to move on. Which was really hard for me. Once I make up my mind about someone, it is hard to change it. If I decide I want you in my life, only to walk away, it is hard. But I learned that the Lord brings some people for a reason, and some for a season (not to be cheesey).
4. I learned to find God in moments of overwhelming busyness. I worked three jobs and went to school full time this semester, while also trying to balance friends and boys and church and bible studies. At one point, I just put my faith on the back burner. I stopped going to church, stopped going to bible studies and college groups. I just stopped caring. But then over break, I realized how long it had been since I had talked to God, so when driving one night at 2 AM, I just drove and poured my heart out to God. And He was there, He never left, through all of that.
5, I learned to find the good in hard times. This year was a year of growth, because looking bad at all the very hard moments, I look back and see God's hand. I see his love and his grace. I see the path he has laid down and I can turn around and see how far I have come.
As I turn back to the path ahead, I have no idea what 2017 is going to come with, I don't know the struggles, I don't know the amazing moments. I don't know the life events that lay ahead, but I know someone who does. Someone who loves me. Someone who cares for me. So I am going to take His hand and walk with Him into this new year.
2017, I am ready for you.
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